I'm a young gay woman with a break-up problem. Very recently I broke up with my girlfriend of six months, Jenny not her real name. Jenny is a wonderful person and we've become close, but I knew she was in love with me, while I didn't feel the same way and could not foresee a strong romantic future with her, feeling more like we would work better as friends. After deciding I needed to break up with her, I possibly made a mistake of waiting a couple of weeks to actually do it so that it happened after her birthday and after she finished some stressful school projects.
Meanwhile, I have a friend, Tanya not her real name. Tanya and I met while working professionally on a freelance project, and we subsequently became friends almost exclusively through text, seeing each other never alone maybe three times since we finished the project months ago.
In the couple weeks leading up to breaking up with Jenny, it became clear to me that Tanya and I had a lot of chemistry and that I could see myself dating her. Once I made the decision to break up with Jenny, my ideal plan was to remain friends in whatever way worked best for her. Then after a month, following another professional engagement I had with Tanya and assuming I still felt strongly about her, I would ask Tanya out.
This plan seemed fool-proof and even kind in my mind: Have a healthy break up, give myself and my ex time to grieve, then proceed to move on and date a new person. However, things changed when I actually broke up with Jenny. She was absolutely devastated, more so than I feared she would be. This was the first serious relationship she had had with another woman, and I don't think she had been in love with anyone like she was with me. And yet I broke her heart. She tried to bargain with me and ask if there was a way we could come back in a week and rethink it, or if it was something she did or didn't do that she could fix, but I assured her that my choice to break up had nothing to do with her actions, and that my feelings would not change, as I didn't want to give her false hope.
But as careful as I tried to be, she was still devastated. What shocked me the most was when she asked if it was because of someone else - specifically, if it was because of Tanya. Jenny had been cheated on by previous partners, and it made her anxious and constantly afraid of it happening again. She knew Tanya and I texted often, and on the few occasions we did see each other, Jenny could sense Tanya was into me even when I couldn't at the time.
She did not mention any of this to me prior to this day, for fear she would seem paranoid, which I understand. I confirmed to Jenny that I have not cheated on her, and it's just about how I feel about her, and no one else.
However, right after that, she told me she was in a relationship before where she suspected her boyfriend was cheating. Once they broke up, her former boyfriend and the woman she suspected was the impetus for the breakup began dating almost immediately - and it crushed Jenny, and caused a term of depression and amped up her anxiety.
So it turns out my plan was not anxiety-proof. At the end of the long, tearful break up, we agreed to be friends, but she definitely need some time to process, which I'm hoping she genuinely takes. So, I feel like I'm in an ethical dilemma. Protect my ex's feelings and potentially her mental health but lose the possibility of seeing a woman I really like?
Or do what I want and date this woman, but take the risk of further hurting my ex and any potential friendship we have? Jenny is not my girlfriend any more, and even if we became friends, it isn't her business who I date. However, she specifically said that the idea of Tanya and me dating would cause her a lot pain, and since I already broke her heart, to compound that with dating the one person she was afraid I was into could only make things worse for her mental health.
Because otherwise I would feel tempted to just rush into her arms, I talked to Tanya, especially since very recently through text she has been flirty, while I've been giving her a lot of mixed signals. I explained to her that although originally I intended to ask her out after some time passed, Jenny's visceral reaction to the idea of us dating has given me pause, and even though we both want to date, I would need more time to decide what I think is right.
Tanya understood, thankfully, so I have more time to figure it out and gauge how my ex is processing everything. So what do you advise, Doc? I want to be cheesy and "follow my heart", but I also want to do right by my ex and not be insensitive. Thanks in advance for any insight you have. There is no fool-proof break up plan. Break ups are rarely easy and never painless. Even when it's one that needs to happen, or even just the natural end to a relationship, there's going to be pain. Something that has been part of your life is ending, and that hurts.
Sometimes more, sometimes less. The only thing you can do is make the break up as compassionate as possible and avoid needless pain. You aren't responsible for someone else's feelings. It absolutely sucks that Jenny is hurt by this. It's good that you're trying to be compassionate. It says a lot about you as a person that you're worried about her.
But I'm gonna have to bring out the chair-leg of truth here: You can't let her having a sad control your future. Let's game this out a little. How long does Jenny's broken heart get to dictate who you do or don't date?
Are you going to have to wait until you are per cent, positively, absolutely sure that she's OK before you're allowed to date someone else, whether it's Tanya or some other person?
What if she just plain never gets over you? The dilemma you're facing here isn't unique. I've lost track of the number of people I've seen on both sides of the break-up who either used the "you broke my heart" bit on someone or had it used against them. And make no mistake: It's a way of controlling one's ex by setting the terms of the break-up. You aren't "allowed" to do something because she's been hurt like this before and how could you do it to her again you were so special and so on.
I'm not saying Jenny is doing this deliberately or maliciously. I think she's genuinely hurt. But that doesn't mean that she isn't trying to basically keep you single. Whether she's hoping it means you'll come back to her or if she just is trying to put off not having you in her life, it's still manipulative. I have nothing but empathy for her. Having an ex dump you and immediately take up with someone else hurts like nothing else.
Having it be the person they were cheating on you with — even though in this case that isn't what happened — is the lemon juice on the open wound for that extra kiss of eau d' fuck you. But the fact of the matter is that as much as the break-up may have sucked for her, she has to be the one to put on her big girl pants and deal with it. It's not on you to be her combination shrink and break-up Sherpa.
You don't need to get her over this particular hill. You've already done what you could to make this as clean a break as possible.
If you're worried about her, then you can provide her with numbers for a therapist or call her friends and let them know that Jenny could really use their love and support right now. But there comes a point where she's going to have to be able to handle things on her own. If you do decide to pursue Tanya — and you have every right to do so — then go for it.
Do your best to avoid causing needless pain where you can. You may want to block or restrict what Jenny can see on your social media, for example, just so that she doesn't end up ripping off the scab if she sees a picture of the two of you together on Instagram. But you don't need to treat it like a dirty secret to keep from your ex.
He is also a regular guest at One Of Us. Dr Nerdlove is not really a doctor. I really don't understand FWB, how hard could it really be to find another sociopath of the opposite sex? I know there are plenty out there just by how many I have had to avoid, take a group of any dozen guys or girls and there's bound to be one in there: I don't think FWB is a sociopath. But she may very well be aromantic. That's not sociopathy, just a difference. She obviously enjoys intimacy otherwise the cuddling and the long dates wouldn't occur.
It'd just be boot-knocking. FWB if you ever read this, good luck. I assume the bit where Dr Nerdlove mentions that the movie " days of summer" was a movie version of something he went through, is some sort of sarcastic joke? Mate it sounds like she needs to hit up Ashley Madison and find a guy thats already with some one else.
I spent quite a few years single from about and was pretty active. I pursued the no strings angle to excess and found that the girls I didn't want to be in a relationship with, were the ones that did.
On the other hand the girls I was seeing that I wanted to pursue, were happy with the arrangement as it was. I've often wondered about the deeper side of that dynamic, but sadly it's tough to remember the specifics of the non sexual interactions when I was so focused on the opposite. Certainly was young, dumb and full of all sorts of things.
I am someone in the FWB camp and it works well for both of us. We are friends that fool around. We are both divorced , work odd hours and are both people that like our own space and time to ourselves. We aren't sociopaths, we are just people that know we want and where we are in our lives. Oh man, what a shame that a nerd girl can get all the sex she wants and the only repercussions is that the guy is more into than she wanted.
Meanwhile, hundreds of decent looking, health and career conscious guys can't even get a date because the standards women have in men is disgustingly higher than vice versa. Sep 11, , 3: Agree sociopaths are abundant. Not being that into you doesn't make someone a sociopath. Sep 11, , That seems to be the way it works. Sep 12, , You are starting a new discussion.
Keen to see what Battle For Azeroth has in store, but don't fancy your chances of winning the Blizzard lottery? My queer friends and I confessed to one another that we were assuming the worst. Dad, I really feel for you! Your partner probably does too. Despite what you may think at times, new mothers are not trying to make their partners feel miserable by not giving them the sex that they and most likely, we miss.
Remember this great quote from Elly Taylor, author of the brilliant book Becoming Us: After reading this article, talk with your partner and find out if any of these issues are affecting her.
Then together, you can work out a solution for you both. Assumptions and grudges can be huge resentment builders on both sides. The first 12 months can be especially hard, and even then, there are still challenges. You will need to do these things on a regular basis and be patient if you want things to improve. If you keep focusing on how awful it is and believe its never going to end, it could cost you your relationship and therefore money and many other things. While women may have unique personalities, they are wired for similar needs — especially during pregnancy, birth and in the postnatal period.
Therefore, another relationship would likely present the very same problems. Thinking that another woman would be any different and give you all the sex you want, all the time, is just folly. This postnatal period can be a very testing time — studies show it can be a time of conflict and break-ups. There is no need for her low libido to become an issue worth losing your relationship over, nor your beautiful baby living in a broken home.
This is a time of great opportunity, for you to show your partner how much she means to you, by supporting, understanding and loving — and she will never forget it. We do have an article for mothers who are struggling to reclaim their libido , too. According to a poll in the BellyBelly forums, the most significant reason why mothers feel disinterested in sex is a lack of sleep. Almost half of the women who responded said more sleep would make them feel like more sex.
Science backs them up too. They also found women with longer average sleep duration reported better genital arousal than women with shorter average sleep length. Either way, now we have proof that insufficient sleep can result in decreased sexual desire and arousal.
Being a new mother is physically and emotionally draining on so many levels. When a mother gets that small window of baby sleep freedom, she often ends up putting herself and her needs last, and the to-do list first. I want to feel turned on, I want to feel sexual, but there is just nothingness — which is depressing. My basic needs as a woman and human being need to be met to be able to give more. Of course I want to make my partner feel desired.
But when you function on autopilot, you do what you can just to make it through the day… then fall in a heap at night. You need to help her get more sleep in any way you can. If she has no family or friends who can help out on a regular basis, you might like to hire a post-natal doula or get some other paid home help with your baby.
If you have a spare room, you may like to consider a live-in nanny au pair. This is a great option — you simply negotiate a weekly allowance with the nanny, which is reduced due to accommodation, food and other expenses. You can find experienced au pairs on many websites — often they are travelers taking working holidays. Depending on how old your baby is, you could take bub out for a walk for an hour, or out to visit your parents at home if they are closeby, or just occupy baby in between feeds, out of the earshot of mum.
On the weekends, offer to be the first one to jump out of bed with baby and do the first shift so mum can sleep in. Or a great idea which most mothers would love is extra help with housework. Its always hard at first when babies are little, but it will get easier. You both need to share taking care of bub, because her day job is the baby, yours is work. Personal space can be huge factor for some mothers, who feel like their touch sensory bucket is overflowing.
They may feel like everyone wants a piece of their body when they have none for themselves. These women especially need more me time. Yes, these are strong words, but remember, once when humans lived in communities, raising children involved the whole village. Everyone shared and helped out with responsibilities, including raising the children. Babies and young children love to be attached to their mothers, which is normal, healthy behaviour — they feel safe and this builds their self esteem, confidence and independence when this happens.
However for mama, being clung to all day with no extra hands to take the load can result in sensory overload. You just want to block your ears and shut it all out because it eventually becomes overwhelming — no matter who the people are and how much you love them, your senses are overload.
One BellyBelly member says: It drives me batty and has the opposite effect that he wants. It puts me off. Another BellyBelly member says: After a week of the girls been more needy than normal I honestly feel like I have been violated. And then by the time my husband is making his moves on me, I cringe because its another invasion of my privacy.
Some women experience traumatic births and as a result, may not want to be touched. Professional birth de-briefers do fabulous work as well as counsellors who specialise in this field.
Find ways to take the baby off her hands whenever you can. Play with the baby while she has a break or cooks dinner or has a shower. Talk to her about scheduling regular dad and baby time each week. Alternately getting some help from friends, family or paid help during the day can help. Reclaiming some of her personal space by having regular baby-free time will make a massive difference to her — and your relationship.
If your partner is suffering from depression, this can affect her mood, energy and sex drive. Unfortunately, postnatal depression does affect many women, so if your partner is suffering from depression or you suspect she may be, it might be time to get some professional help and advice.
Check out our article for men:. Check out our article for men: Post Natal Depression and Your Partner. Childbirth can leave women in physical pain or with damage to the most delicate, feminine parts of their bodies. Many weeks or even months may pass, with her being fearful of stirring up any damage. Let alone worrying about how it all looks after the birth! These fears alone can be enough to shut up shop. This can become a psychological issue, because when she finally decides to have sex for the first time, she may be so worked up that it does cause pain.
One new mother says: I was more nervous than I was for my first time. Other than that, you need to be patient while she recovers physically and emotionally. Touch and skin to skin contact is so important, so find a way to do that as best you can.
You may like to suggest seeing a sex therapist if the issue has become psychological. It may surprise you that its not just vaginal birth which can result in painful intercourse. The second birth was an instrumental vaginal birth with a nasty episiotomy on my unstretched perineum ouch! As per the above point, time and patience is key with this one. Seek help from a therapist if its causing relationship issues.
But especially where pain is involved, pushing your partner for sex is only going to leave you feeling more rejected, when thats not what she wants for you to feel. She needs your understanding and support. Mother nature is very clever. Hormones are working beautifully to make sure milk is feeding your baby — as well as preventing a pregnancy too soon. However, these hormones are not pro-libido.
Yes, there is a biologically normal, justified reason why her libido is on vacation, and just for fun, this is why she may also be experiencing vaginal dryness. Vaginal dryness can make sex uncomfortable and even painful. Find out more in our article about breastfeeding and libido. Please do not ask your partner to give up breastfeeding for the sake of your sex life! Her libido will return when her hormones build up to levels high enough to start ovulating and menstruating again, which is when it will likely be more like normal.
Firstly, if you do have sex, be sure to use lots of lubricant. Dry sex, even if just a little bit lubricated, can be irritating or painful. Show concern for her by taking initiative and using it on her, telling her if she needs more to let you know. But being kind and attentive, putting her first and doing little things for her that she likes, can go a long way here. If you can spark a little something then you may find she is receptive. Remember, women take a great deal more time to warm up than a man, with or without a baby.
A woman needs around 20 minutes of warm-up time. So take your time, and focus on connection and giving her pleasure. Doing so will remind her how good it feels — just remember the golden rule: Start with everywhere else apart from her vagina and nipples and work your way in. That beautiful round belly that everyone thought was adorable has transformed into what she may see as saggy, squishy, jelly belly. Everywhere she turns, she may see images of something she is not and may find it hard to understand how she could look sexy or beautiful to you.
When a mother is anxious or stressed about her appearance which is extremely common in post-natal mothers , the last thing she tends to be able to do is feel like a sex kitten and ravish you or be ravished in the bedroom. PJs and trackies are the norm. It makes a huge difference when hubby makes me feel sexy. Remind your partner how much you love her and how beautiful she is. Let her know in a non-horny way that you love and adore her. When she feels your genuine loving comments, she will likely open up a great deal more.
It took months to put on the weight of pregnancy, she needs months to slowly get back into things. Give her massages and other non-sexual acts where you are enjoying other parts of her body. Maybe tell her what you love about that part of her as you go along.
What incentive are you giving her to want more sex with you when it feels like an item on her to-do list, rather than an immensely pleasurable, orgasmic experience? After giving all day, she needs someone giving to her too. Did you take time to kiss her and hold her? Did you touch all of her body, not just her hot spots that you want to enjoy — her boobs and vagina? How about a massage first or something else she likes?
A resource I recommend to my male friends and their partners , is the work of Jason Julius. Now I apologise because the landing page of his website here uses strong language, but what he teaches is effective and not pick-up artist style. But it offers some very effective tips for giving women great orgasms, as well as a guided meditation to relax her.
If sex is more enjoyable for her and you know how to press all her buttons, she may want it more often. And of course, when she has an orgasm, she gets a shot of oxytocin — the hormone of love and bonding.
Orgasms are beneficial for physical and mental health in both men and women. A book Tony Robbins highly recommends is Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of Female Orgasm. Focus on her more. Make sex about her, not you. Once my period came back and my libido came with it I lamented all those years of lost libido I had on the pill.
Trying to avoid another pregnancy too soon or at all is a really tricky issue to deal with. It saves your partner from having to take daily medication which involves health risks and has side effects, and a similar operation for her is more complicated. Or if you plan on having children in the future, have you looked at natural fertility management?
Looking at another form of contraceptive is a great idea, low libido or not. Hormones that are not supposed to be in the body normally pose risks.
Here are 6 effective alternatives to the pill. Therefore, you have a stalemate, and because she is also tired and the above issues come into play, sex goes nowhere. In the BellyBelly poll, one of the runner-up reasons for not having as much sex was because mothers wanted more affection or quality time with their partners. New parents can easily become disconnected with so much more responsibility. Her needs for connection are important, so focus on ways to help her feel connected with you.
A big way you can do this is face to face communication. A little affection and attention during the day would be nice. You can help by giving her your undivided attention, without distractions — even just for 10 minutes after work or while the baby sleeps.
Of course, aim for more than this if you can. My partner and I sometimes talk while giving each other a foot massage by sitting at opposite ends of the couch, which keeps us face to face too.
So to accomplish this, it means shutting off the thoughts in your head, being open to listen, minimising or getting rid of distractions and focusing on her. When she feels your focused energy in this way, she feels safe to open up to you and loved. Heck, she may be more inclined to jump your bones according to our poll! There are some great groups around — I seriously recommend it if you want to bring your best self to your woman, family, job and life purpose for yourself.
We sought his help after the birth of my third baby and I can honestly say what he shared with my partner after the first session saved our relationship.
One common complaint mothers have is their partners will do something that they really appreciate, for example, give them a massage, then push for sex. Rather than an act of kindness, it becomes a trade, creating resentment. Some women feel pressured by their partners, some daily, which not only builds resent, but also makes them back even further away.
You look forward to going home, having a shower then getting an early night. But you come home, your partner is bubbling over and wants to invite family over for dinner. But you sit there at the table, in an almost zombie-like state, just wanting everyone to go home so you can get some sleep.
Just like we speak different languages, we love in languages too. For example, a woman may grow up in a household where she saw her mother cook beautiful meals for her husband and keep a spotless home. Her mother channelled all her love into a language Chapman calls acts of service. In other households, touch is important — another love language.
So this may come into play with how she wants to be loved right now. Sugars and grains will make both of you feel flat, tired and eventually, sick. Pre-prepare bulk meals like chicken and vegetable soups, placing them in containers for quick reheating. Bone broth is very healing and nutritious for the whole family. Veggies, leafy greens, protein, nuts, seeds and good fats containing omegas are important and can make a difference to her wellbeing, libido and mood.
If you have time, prepare some snacks for her before you go to work — or hold the baby so she can. Healthy, ready made soups or snacks like carrot sticks, almonds, salads, cut up fruit etc are great. Add chia seeds into the diet, swap cooking oils for coconut oil and these will help nourish her too. Far too many mothers skip meals, including breakfast, which is the most important meal of the day. Eating paleo or LCHF low carb, high fat is a great way to eat.
Far too many mothers skip meals, including breakfast, which is detrimental to energy levels and breastmilk production. Breastfeeding mothers need hundreds of more healthy calories each day for breastmilk production.
Ask for the ferritin level to get a better idea of how much iron the body has stored. Good quality water is very important, especially when breastfeeding. Not drinking enough can result in fatigue, lowered milk supply, constipation and other health problems. Unfortunately, most water we drink is not as healthy as we think.
Everyone can benefit from investing in a great water system and drinking filtered water. Exercise can also increase energy levels, help with depression, anxiety and back pain.
You might like to suggest gentle walks with her after work or on weekends, given that she has cleared her recovery time and is well. Just half an hour a day can make a difference — and if you go with her, it provides a great opportunity for some connection time. Kelly Winder is the creator of BellyBelly. She's passionate about informing and educating fellow thinking parents and parents-to-be, especially about all the things she wishes she knew before she had her firstborn.
Kelly is also passionate about travel, tea, travel, and animal rights and welfare. I feel hurt and let down. My kid was born on April 30th, and my wife has not been wanting sex at all and even when she tries it sucks because you can tell she in in pain and not enjoying it at all but after reading this article I fully understand now and I honestly feel like a shitty Husband for not understanding.
Life especially parenting and all that comes with it! But it can be managed and the relationship strengthened like never before. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Oh my good lord have you heard yourself- that must be a complete joke!! I really do hope you are just writing to gain a reaction such as mine because if not you sound like a self-centred arrogant pig. Mel, whether you believe in Jesus Christ or not, I think your anti-Christian feelings are getting in the way of hearing what Edward was saying.
Other than his constant spelling mistakes, he has a good point, and I agree with a lot of it. I am not a practicing Christian, but the bible verses he quotes are the most intelligent part of his comments. I am feeling exactly like you right now. I do think she could try harder. She tries to make me happy sometimes, but she is so sexy except her nipples, hehe and my strong sexual drive is making this very difficult. The question what is keeping her is one that only she can answer.
You might not know this, but as much as for us men sex releases pressure, results in relaxation and can be used to alleviate stress, for women this is completely the other way around. They need to be relaxed and worry-free before they can engage in sexual activities please excuse the simplification, of course everyone is different …. Make this about her, not about you.
That literally works miracles! I am a Christian and you are completely mid quoting the bible! I think you should both get over yourselfs and for one second try to comprehend what your wife has gone through! But how dare you say to get over yourself?
For a man and a woman to connect in ways never thought of? I also am in the same situation with my wife and I constantly think that she has lost her affection for me. He was simply pointing out that the bible verse that was being quoted was misused. As a Christian myself I concur that the verse being used was absolutely out of context. You both have valid points about both breastmilk and sex — they are a gift from God. Breastmilk is a gift for the health it gives our babies and the closeness and bond it produces between a mum and baby.
Sex is a gift between a husband and wife which also brings closeness and pleasure. Please note that she added the following disclaimer: Since you seem to be doing a lot to help already and and none of these situations apply to you because you are still having problems, then this article is obviously not for you and you need other help. On a more personal note, resenting your wife will not help the situation, and disclosing your penis size is kind or irrelevant.
Withholding sex is also more of a specific thing. Is she actually withholding sex from you? Have you actually talked to her about it or are you just venting on the internet? It seems like some constructive steps could be taken here. Firstly, tell her how you feel. I hope all goes well. My partner and I were only together for 2 months before she fell pregnant. I was over the moon that she fell pregnant and my word I was also so scared.. Like having a disabled child was hard enough considering it was our first too.
We started to resent each other.. Fighting to the point of no return.. She had no family. I had the pressures of money, life and the fact that I was about to lose my partner and daughter. She moved out to a farm and I lived with my parents.. I saw them everyday without hesitation.. It was emotionally devistating!!! I finally got a full time job and fiannly got a place together… But the fights kept going..
The days got harder!! It felt like we were fighting for nothing.. At this point it was 19 months without sex and we were only together for two months.. I am Not a quitter neither is she.. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel!! I knew she was depressed.. But so was I.. But I had to keep strong for them both..
Because she could only keep strong for our little girl. Working hour weeks to try and keep our heads above water.. Cleaning… Paying bills, shopping etc..
All I wanted was sex!! I craved it so much! I thought it was me! My self esteem was shot! She was like… You have no emotions, you show no hurt or anything..
All I was showing was anger!! Never been so angry in my life.. And all of a sudden after many days of abuse to each other we sat down and we were about to give up and call it quits… I broke down… I cried and cried like never before. I told her how I felt!
She cried and she told me how she felt! We spoke for the first time in almost two years properly, found out that she felt the exact same as me.. We spoke from 10pm until 5am until I had to leave for work.
From that day on something clicked. We became a team. We are still working towards the best but nobody is the best hey. We are so much stronger… Yeah I get sex once a month maybe twice haha! Best 2 mins ever haha. But if I get to spend my life with this women and See our child grow as a family.. It means more to me than losing her over sex.
I hope all is well on your part now. We all need to grow in relationships or we die! That alone will make our relationships better and more loving. Time needs to be invested in relationship, and time needs to be invested in self. My own relationship went down that path — I kept the kids together and sorted out, he worked and kept the money coming in as I was doing also, from home.
We both imploded due to not caring for each other or ourselves. Got to say, thank goodness you broke down and bawled your eyes out in front of her! And that she responded by doing the same! Kurt, you seem like a great guy. Read the book divorce busting or buster, something like that. Look, everyone has value. That is why your wife was with you in the first place.
Go out with your friends and maybe for the weekend. Let her know what it is to be without you. Good luck to you, but read the book before you do anything. It is a rather interesting read. My wife is exactly the same..
She is my everything and with out her I would not have to beautiful kids.. She is my hero! AKA be grateful for what you have and all will work it self out.. After which time we can sleep or tend the baby. Jane, I feel your pain! Who needs them anyway? A bunch of sex pigs. All they do is work to provide for their families. Women should just be able to go sexless after children and men should simply understand and cope with it.
At least they should just shut up and just continue to pay the bills so women can sleep, eat and tend the kids. Men are jokes and such needy babies themselves. Women have it so hard in this life. Better yet, they ought to live somewhere else and keep supplying the money so mom and kids can be alone and be rid of those jerks. Their need for sex does not matter. It is totally irrelevant. Only what women need matters. Men are to be worked and used for income.
I hope your outlook on life and your attitude towards women changes. Just the kids needs are important. Tough it out, right?! This article brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for this amazing Article as I will definitely share this with my husband. Men are wired to be poly-amorous. Sorry to break it to you ladies. He needs an emotional and physical release. My wife and I have had discussions about this. We have also evolved as a species since humans were created. People do have a choice, to control themselves or not.
Light up a cigarette? Drink ourselves silly — all in the name of stuffing down uncomfortable feelings. The only way to grow from something is to go through it. Find new ways to express intimacy and show your commitment.
By giving your energy to another woman, you are taking it away from the one who you are committed to. If it works for you both. But for the most part, women thrive with the presence, commitment and strength of her man. A man is most sexy when he shows self control, focus purpose and can deal with times when they are tough. So, if a woman has certain needs she is to be catered to and pampered and taken care of.
But when a men has needs they are evolutionary baggage that needs to be suppressed. Do you people even listen to yourself? I agree with Alex. Thank God I married a real man. Marriage is for better or worse and it is something you willingly entered. You are a cheater, you are a vow breaker and you are not a good husband. But they will also never get better by making ultimatums or threats to find greener pastures.
They are almost always indicative of a much deeper problem. So you telling her just to suck up and do it for your pleasure IS disrespectful. Not ONCE did you give even a hint that have asked why this is happening?! Have you even asked her!? If so, did you even really bloody listen!? So you enjoy your partner laying down unmotivated and enduring your humping? She will come around, but not under pressure. Imagine yourself in her shoes.
Well said, very well said. Most of you girls on this thread and the writer herself sound very childish. Do you want your men to back off and stop trying to turn every touch into sex? Then offer them a five minute hand job a couple times each week. If you actually would take some of your selfish time and read how men generally behave, it would become quite clear to each of you that once we release, we can stop thinking with our penises for a while and focus our new found energy on pampering you.
So now our need is greater and the touching becomes more geared toward sex. Do you think masturbating for us will fill the void? News flash, Grow up girls, take good care of your men, we work to do the same for you. Shame on you; shame on you for harping on our needs, shame on you for your lack of sympathy, shame on you for thinking men are some kind of awful over sexed creature. You sound like terrible wives who care little for your partners.
Sex for us is vital; did you hear that??? Celibacy is for monks and priests. This proves that women are just as selfish. Women need this and that and the other before the husband ever thinks he deserves sex with his wife. Men must extend themselves and never expect sex and wait as long as it takes for his wife to finally decide when they should have sex. Men should never ask for love making. Women are to be in charge of that. But why do women feel free to completely neglect their husbands for years after the children come?
What a one sided joke. She acted like I was raping her on our wedding night. Nothing happened that night and hardly anything has happened over the 12 years of our marriage. She wanted a lot of sex in order to get pregnant the first time with our daughter. Then 4 years later she all of a sudden wanted me again and we had our son. I get criticized over the littlest things and she praises how successful other guys are that she new back in high school but I hardly ever hear a word of praise toward me from her.
Yes men have egos, have pride, have a need for adventure, and a need for acceptance from the woman he loves, and yes sex is the biggest thing that speaks all of that to a man. But women I guess are entitled to neglect their men, at least my wife feels that way. I stay only for my kids.. After giving all day, she needs someone giving to her. Then after a month, following another professional engagement I had with Tanya and assuming I still felt strongly about her, I would ask Tanya. Minimum of 8 standard keyboard characters. He did eventually stop but instead of being sorry he blamed me. Addictions come in all forms.
SEX CASUAL COAST PERSONAL
If it hurts a lot, stop. The hymen is a thin membrane that surrounds the opening of the vagina. You may notice a little bit of blood the first time you have vaginal sex if the hymen tears. If it continues, visit your GP. First-time sex can be awesome, or it may leave you feeling a bit disappointed. As with most things, good sex takes practice.
After having sex for the first time, you may feel really great, excited and close to your partner, because of all the hormones rushing through your body. This could be because it was different from what you expected, or it feels like a big deal, or you might feel unsure about how it will affect your relationship. Sex is a very personal thing, and can feel really intimate, so experiencing intense feelings afterwards is understandable. Think about whether you're ready Deciding to have sex for the first time is a pretty big deal.
Is sex something you really want to do, or do you feel you're being pressured into it? What are you comfortable doing, and what is 'off limits'? Do you want to be in a committed relationship with the person you have sex with? Use condoms for penis-in-vagina or penis-in-anus sex or dams for oral sex on a vagina or anus to protect both of you from STIs and pregnancy. Check out our info on contraception and STIs. What to expect Still have lots of questions? The survey, touted as the biggest, anonymous independent research on "digital youth" about sex ever, found that more women than men thought sex was essential, with bisexual and gay women making up the winning numbers.
I think I need a lie down. Women think sex is more important than men? What will we find out next? Ned Stark is alive? When I was a teen we had Dolly Doctor, which easily served as the all-knowing tower of information for young folk when there were questions. What the internet has done however, is make the answers easier and faster to find. Everyone has a phone now. What Kasey doesn't say, is that those answers aren't filtered, edited, or checked for accuracy.
And regardless of the fact that the internet may be where "digital youth" are getting their knowledge, chances are it's not using that power responsibly. Not only does the internet give young people more access to sexual information, it's also given women a bigger slice of the porn market. That's right, contrary to popular belief, women like porn. Of the respondents, girl or guy, three out of five people view porn at least once a week. Dazed Digital suggests that the rise in women watching porn is down to the internet making it more readily available, however, they're still not enamoured with the type of porn on offer: It may also explain the sharp rise of independent porn creators now specialising in porn for women and the phenomenal success of books like 50 Shades of Grey.